Martyr Floon

A year and five months went by and I did not get an answer. I was not able to get much information about how Michael was doing until my Dad told me what happened at the World Music Awards. Michael messed up while trying to sing and gor booed off stage. There was only praying during that time.

In January 2007, Jimmy and I decided to send the letter again on the same website, but when we looked for, we found out that it had been shut down. Then we sent it on an email address of a fan club.

When I turned 19 in 2006 my mom said that I was old enough to buy a piece of Michael's merchandie without asking her. I went right to it. Whenever I would go to the stores that had CD's, I would search through them.

Also, in the begining of 2007 I suddenly started a process in which I would look up Michael everyday on the internet, to see how he was doing. I also wanted to know if my prayers were having any affect.

I wanted information about Michael badly and there was nothing to be found in the magazines or the news reports. I wanted to get information but not be a pest about it. The internet was really the best way.

I also found another email address to send the letter too. The website was called Histeria. I also found a place called the Michael Jackson World Network in Wigan, England, and I sent it there by postage.

When I kept on reading about Michael having trouble paying his bills and the multiple lawsuits that kept on happening, I, of course prayed that it would get Michael's attention. Like it had done the movie star Mickey Rooney. As a fan, I believed it was my job to help him as much as I possibly could.

I not only bought his seven regular albums, but also the extra CD's with just his greatest hits and the Ultimate Collection. With the short films, I bought every single DVD and the Visionary Box Set. I really did not care if what I bought had the same songs. I just knew that the money I was paying was going to help Michael even though it was not much. In fact, when I would pick an item off the shelf I would say out loud, "I am doing this for you, Michael."

Buying all the short films was worth it because I had so much fun learning his dances. I started doing "Thriller and "Beat It" for Young Life summer camp talent shows. There was actually a time when I got to dress up like Michael and did "The Way You Make Me Feel" in a skit with a church group, on a mission trip to Mexico.

As I said before, I used to write messages on a website called Topix. Discussions come on this website about the latest stories concerning Michael and people around the world write their opinions down. Many have converstions or arguments. You can even create your own discussions and even polls in which other members can give their answer by voting.

The Topix website was ruled by the worse kinds of haters, ones in the world that hated Michael. Fans would write their opinions on the discussions, and when they got defensive, they did it big time. Then haters would write back saying the worse kinds of things about them and Michael.

The particular nickname that the haters, on the website, would call us fans was f'loon. In other words, they were saying that we were f. crazy.

The first time I got on the website, I started a discussion titled "M.J. the One and Only Parent" in which I procalimed Michael to be a wonderful father and that the kids would want no one else. When I kept on reading internet stories about Michael's health being bad I would start discussions in which I was asking the other fans to pray for him.

One day something happened that made me feel seperate from the other fan members. The haters gave me a nickname "Martyr Floon." I was called that on two seperate discussions. I do not remember how it happened the first time,but the second time it happened a hater had replied to one of my comments by calling me an idiot, and I answered this hater by saying," You call me an idiot? Alright, call me an idiot. If you pick on Michael, why don't you pick on me." The hater answered by saying," We got a Martyr f'oon."

My membership name on the website was MickeyZ428, but after that happened, I changed it to Mickeyz or Martyr F'loon.

I was actually proud of it, and when the haters found out, they were really surprised since they had meant it to be offensive. This comment from a hater named Buffalo Billy Bob practically sums up the haters' surprise.

"Wackjob f'loon MickeyZ who loves her martyr hood is wildly in love with a man she has never met and never will meet. She believes exactly what he wants his f'loons to believe about him and like all f'loons she is not bright enough to question anything negative that appears about him no matter how plentiful or repulsive those reports may be."

I also started several polls on that website in which I asked questions. There was one in which I asked the rest of the fans what had made them a fan in the first place. Was it just entertainment or was there something else?

The other questions I asked were things like who is there more of in the world, haters or fans? Or what do you love the most, Michael or his music?

I was the most serious about a poll that I titled Test for the Fans. It was based on something that happened a short time before, when a member named "Michael Hear This" was trying to tell Michael that he was a fan, but if there was not a new album by the end of that year, he would become a hater. I replied to this person by saying, "I am going to stand by Michael to the end even if there never is a comeback."

I asked the question, would the other members agree with "Michael Hear This" or with me? One hundred and tweleve agreed with "Michael Hear This" and four did with me.

I was also praying very hard for Michael throughout the entire time, but the things that I was reading made it look like my prayers were not having any effect. Even though I had sent out the letter a couple times, I had a feeling there was a way I could send the letter that would make it more possible for Michael to receive it. That way was just around the corner.