Masters Commission

Things were now the other way around, I was getting yelled at by not only haters, but fans too. Fans who did not understand what I was really trying to do, were saying that I was doing the last thing I intended to do.

The fans were saying that Michael already knew the truth, and that I was accusing him when I mentioned things that were true, like the fact that Michael's life was being controlled by Satan. My intentions were to show Michael the truth not to accuse or judge him. Not everyone that reads this book will understand what I am talking about either.

Anyway I believe that when you are trying to show someone, you love, what it is they really need you should not care about what other people say about you.

Others, including my family, just could not see him the same way I did.

For nine months I was part of a discipleship program called Eastern Shore Masters Commission in Georgetown, DE. It began on September 20, 2008.

Each day I would gather with the other students and leaders, and we would do different volunteer work and Bible study.

What I liked the most is that we would pray for an hour every day. That was really the best time I could pray for Michael. Though there were other times, along the line, during those nine months.

There were also some times when the leaders would let me use the computer after we dismissed for the day or also on Mondays when we would have the day off. Though it was not as often, I could still see how Michael was doing.

When I read that Michael was not eating right and was depending on drugs I was just as concerned as Uri Gellar, an old friend of Michael's and his mentalist, who stated his concern on G.M. Television. When it was announced that Michael was going to perform ten shows, I knew that Michael would need a lot of strength, yet he was not taking care of himself. Since my love for Michael was unconditional, I did not really care about shows in fact I did not want them to be anounced at all. I just wanted Michael to stay alive.

What I was reading, on the internet, made me pray even harder for Michael even to the point of tears because I also had a feeling those entire nine months, that something was going to happen that year of, 2009. I did not know what it was but I kept on with the only thing I could do, "pray."

The program was also the biggest experience I had had with the real world. I had been sheltered for most of my life because of my painful experiences.

As I had stated before the reason I had started my isolation was because I had been bullied in school. I know that may seem like nothing when compared to what Michael went through but I believe that if people really thought about it they will realize that bullies and tabloids are really not much different. Even though what bullies say is not in magazines all over the world what they do is for the same reason. They enjoy what they get out of it and they do not care what they have to do to get some more of it. For bullies it means fun and for the writers of the tabloids it means money.

That was not the only reason either. Before I came to Masters Commission I was stuck in a process of isolation because I felt unloved. I knew my family loved me, but I did not feel loved by those I wanted to love me. This would cause me to have feelings of rejection and loneliness which would then lead to other feelings of depression and suicide. I thought that isolation was the best way to ease my pain. I stayed in my private world, reading, watching movies, praying for Michael's soul, and following his life.

The program ended on June 6th and I was relieved. I had never been so homesick in my life.